


A Blossoming Maiden's Beauty

by thereisafire



Category: Ouran High School Host Club, Star Trek (2009)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-19
Updated: 2010-01-19
Packaged: 2017-10-06 11:23:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/53158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thereisafire/pseuds/thereisafire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A fusion of Ouran High School Host Club and Star Trek. (Star Trek Host Club?)</p><p>Bones is female, playing the long-suffering Haruhi. Kirk, of course, is Tamaki, Spock is Kyouya, Sulu and Chekov are the twins.</p><p>Originally posted for the Star Trek Kink Meme.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Blossoming Maiden's Beauty

Bones rolled her eyes as she pressed a hypospray to the Captain's neck.

"Could you _stop_ moving about, Captain?"

"I know there are not many men in your dreary life, Bones! I cannot help but recoil in awe of your maidenly beauty, while regretting that it is wasting away in this cold medical lab!"

Spock appeared to be adjusting his hair in the background, but on closer inspection, he was actually rubbing his temples with pain.

This could _not_ end well.

"So, Bones, I came up with a plan to liven up your life!" Kirk cried out, dramatically waving his arm towards Sulu and Chekov.

Spock was looking increasingly distressed at Kirk's enthusiasm.

Bones tried to retain her composure, which was rather difficult when Kirk was making the background sparkle. Lens flares swirled around the room.

"That's good, Captain. Could you put your arm down so I can check for the rash?"

"No! The plan must be set in motion! You see, I was concerned that you were lacking in eyecandy, as it is the Captain's job to ensure that everyone is surrounded by masculine beauty!"

Spock raised an eyebrow, opened his mouth, thought better of it, and closed it again, inspecting the varieties of medicine on the shelves as if they were the most interesting thing he had ever encountered. He picked a bottle up to read the label, seemingly deep in thought.

"That's why I brought these two side characters here to make your life sexier!" Kirk proclaimed.

Spock fumbled the bottle, then managed to catch it, putting it back on the shelf as if he had meant to fumble it all along.

"Sulu! Chekov! Begin!"

"Yes, Captain!" they chorused, as Chekov pulled at the collar of Sulu's shirt.

"Oh, Hikaru, it has been so long since I have been in your brotherly embrace," Chekov cried, clinging to Sulu like a limpet and groping his back.

"I know, Pavel, and I have longed for your company too. But this cannot be! We are as close as brothers, but yet...your masculine beauty, the curls of your hair, how they seduce me!" Sulu wailed, reaching a hand towards the seat of Chekov's pants.

"Hikaru, please! Steer me to the nearest bed!" Chekov simpered, pressing his buttocks against Sulu's hand.

"Oh, yes, Pavel! But you will have to navigate -" Sulu collapsed to the ground, as did Chekov.

Bones had no idea that Vulcan nerve pinches could be done in such rapid succession, although if Spock had to deal with these clowns on a daily basis, she could see why it was a necessary skill.

Kirk made an offended noise, folding his arms.

"Spock! You're not supposed to interfere with the Captain's plans!"

Spock grabbed Kirk's arm, hauling him away from the bed he was sitting on.

"My apologies for the situation. It appears that I will be overseeing the Captain's recovery from this allergy until he is in a correct frame of mind. I will return shortly to aid you in removing the ensign and the lieutenant from your floor. Please contact me in my quarters if there are further issues."

Kirk made a token protest, but the hearts popping into place around his head gave it away.

"I'll be back soon, Bones! You won't be lonely forever!"

"Captain, it would be appreciated if you could cease clinging to the doorframe."

Bones nudged Sulu and Chekov with the toe of her shoe, while thinking of what exactly Kirk and Spock would be doing in Spock's quarters.

Thinking about _that_ would definitely liven up her day.


End file.
